our eyes must do some raining

i avoid funerals at all costs. I cowered beneath my blankets when my ex-gf’s parents called to tell me where her service would be held. i didn’t go, and till this day i don’t plan on visiting.  I was around 8 years old when my relatives gathered to remember my grandfather. I remember holding back my laughter, and later (even now) feeling horrible at the thought that i even wanted to laugh. I watched my grandmother with tears running down her cheeks because her husband, her best friend had died. I loved my grandfather, i remember many days of sitting on his lap & playing cards.  

I don’t handle death well, i’d much rather avoid it. 

yesterday i went to the funeral for Ally, the godmother to my 8 day old son.  She had just turned 18…and hadn’t even met her godson yet.  I will always remember Ally, she had a constant smile on her face, and the most positive outlook on life.  She was one of my best friends.